She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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