She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
