how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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