You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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