I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I am available for nakedness
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
