let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
if i died would you start the facebook group?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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