So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
