Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
