I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
