My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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