The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
