somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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