What did we do last night that was yellow?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
