Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
