Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
