You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
