The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize