I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
