I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Girls should come with a carfax report
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
