I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
