Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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