I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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