put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
