so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
