And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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