After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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