First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
