Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
