Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
