my sisters under your porch take her home
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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