babies were throwing up all over the place
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
