Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
