This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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