who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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