haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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