check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
