I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
