How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
