Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Drake has all the answers
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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