Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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