I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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