Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
