i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
