it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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