Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We are two peas in an std pod
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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