You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
