I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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