I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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