Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
