absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
