Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
