well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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