Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Randomize
