You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize