Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize