Your tits are I can't wait for
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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