loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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