STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize