I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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