Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You are a genius and a whore.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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